Pondering the Pen

Jump to Comments

As I begin to think of myself as “a writer,” I’m realizing the need to discipline myself to write regularly, even daily. I’ve neglected the blog for weeks, thinking I should save my best contemplations for magazine articles or for something; for what, I’m not totally sure. A friend, also a writer, made an astute observation about hoarding one’s ideas. They’re like manna (Exodus 16) – God only gives us enough for today. We can use it for its intended purpose, or it will rot and be good for nothing. He will give more tomorrow according to our need. We must have faith in tomorrow’s promised provision.

She actually gave me this particular advice for Paul. He had started writing a bit for a travel web site I’ve mentioned previously, trazzler.com. Contributors to the site do not earn compensation until they either win one of the regular “contests” or are invited to freelance by the site’s editors – no guarantees. For a while, he was saving up ideas, hoping they would hire him. I encouraged him with my friend’s manna metaphor. Whether because of her exhortation or because he just could contain his ideas no longer, he did go ahead and submit several more pieces. Almost immediately, he won one of the monthly contests, which resulted in a small freelance contract. God provided day after day what Paul needed to create his art. New ideas flowed in abundance once Paul faithfully used the manna God was giving him.

However, I have found her advice excruciatingly true for my own writing lately. A tale or analogy will appear in my brain, and I’ll think, “I gotta write that down.” The thoughts will come fast – phrases, images, narratives, and more. If I don’t get the ideas down immediately, the sudden insight disappears nearly completely. I may try to revisit the thought a day or two later, but I can never muster the same passion I have at that initial moment of epiphany. If I scrawl the ideas on a napkin or scrap of paper before I can access a computer, that helps, but often such resources are not easily obtainable. I’m learning to carry a small notebook with me, but writing and driving simultaneously isn’t always a great idea, especially with one’s offspring in the back. While I’m not sure who cares about what I have to say or through what venue I may eventually publish, I still believe I am supposed to be writing. I have come to the realization that writing is something I love. Writing gives me the luxury of “talking,” but also the time to think through my words, polish the language, and delete things that should remain unsaid. Ideally, the exercise could generate some income, even if meager, to help support my family, but the search for anything resembling fame has no part in this equation.

One problem is that it takes me an eternity to produce something I like. I word-smith every jot and tittle to death, relishing the process all the while. I enjoy researching synonyms, history, scripture, people, and, well, anything. One symptom of folks who struggle with ADD is that we lose track of time. Other than my impulsivity, the time issue is my biggest challenge. I have to set an alarm so I don’t forget to pick my children up from school. I can work on a single paragraph for two hours, and it feels like ten minutes have passed. I simply must figure out a way to write faster, so that when I do start making a few shillings for my efforts, I’ll earn more than I would if I deliver pizzas (Dave Ramsey’s regular recommendation when you need a short-term financial solution). Plus, I’ve got to do laundry, shop for groceries, cook supper, sweep, vacuum, keep up with bills and paperwork, and eventually unpack the boxes in which everything we own was (and still is) stored for the year we lived in Kenya. I’m just not sure how one balances writing faithfully and with discipline with the seemingly mundane stay-at-home-mom chores which are crucial to the well-being of my sweet family. Previous experience has made evident the fact that “working” and “mother” are mutually exclusive terms for me personally; I’m hoping that working from home will produce greater success than the former.

Paul and I recently discovered and joined a wonderful group of local writers, the Triangle Area Freelancers. They are a huge encouragement to us, particularly to me. Their mission seems to be mutual support and encouragement in a generally solitary and lonely profession, with the specific goal of helping aspiring writers to publish and receive proper financial compensation for their craft. At the risk of sounding trite, it’s just a really nice group of people (but with an eccentric and interesting flavor). One member has published over a thousand articles (I promise I’m not exaggerating). Others have published in every print medium from professional medical journals to Reader’s Digest, from pet lovers’ to gardening fanatics’ magazines, from military history publications to graphic novels and comic books. Many have published books. Some haven’t published at all. One woman is planning a trip to Germany where she will work in a bakery owned by a friend of her deceased grandmother; she is writing a cookbook that will include her travel adventures and cultural history. One guy, young enough to be my son, vaguely described a nebulous science fiction screenplay he’s working on. Another woman also specializes in photography and public speaking. I came away from our first TAF meeting with only one thought: I need to get busy. I need to write. I can write. I will write.

Can I do so diligently without my house and relationships falling apart around me? If they do, I’ll tell you all about it. If everything remains remotely intact, I’ll tell you about that too. Does the manna metaphor hold true regarding household chores? I haven’t had a whole lot of success with manna and mopping, but then again, I haven’t ever tried to apply the manna analogy to my mom/wife/home management job description. Heck, I just started pondering creative manna a couple of weeks ago. It’s a brand new concept entirely as it relates to cleaning and maintenance. I’m not sure the parallels make much sense, but it’s yet another thing I may be telling you about. ~ cck

1 Comment

Filed under ADD, Carolyn’s posts, Writing