I’ve thought a lot about the Apostle Peter recently. He is a Biblical character who undoubtedly had Attention Deficit Disorder. Impulsive, easily distracted, hyper, emotional. As Easter, the reminder of Jesus’ redeeming work of salvation and the celebration of His victorious resurrection, draws near, I consider Jesus’ activities just prior to His crucification. He is praying in the garden of Gethsemane with the remaining disciples, when Judas and a “large crowd” (Matthew 26:47) of priests, elders, Pharisees, and soldiers (“armed with swords and clubs” to arrest an unarmed man who never harmed another person in any way) arrive. One perspective, considering the throng of hostile people involved, is that Peter acts bravely; impetuously, out of anger, and without considering the consequences, yes, but with courage nonetheless. In a misguided effort to defend his Lord, Peter whips out his sword and chops off the ear of the guy standing closest to him*, some poor servant who was along on this treacherous errand, probably more out of obedience to his master than from any sort of conviction or personal mission of vengeance. Peter acts out of his love for Jesus. Jesus had just finished telling Peter that he would betray Him three times before the next morning, a charge Peter vehemently denies, “Even if all fall away, I will not. Even if I have to die with you, I will never disown you” (Mark 14:29, 31). Perhaps he was trying to prove his sincerity. Jesus fixes Peter’s mess. He heals the man’s ear (Luke 22:51).
During this 24-hour period, Peter argues with Jesus for all or nothing (John 13:6-10). He falls asleep when asked to pray with Jesus before His horrific, humiliating execution (Luke 22:45-46). He makes outrageous promises he doesn’t keep (at least, not immediately; John 13:37). He disobeys Jesus’ specific instructions (John 13:36, 18:15). Peter does, indeed, deny Jesus in three separate statements (John 18:17, 25, 27). He is glaringly absent during the beatings, crucification, and burial of Jesus (John 19). Thinking everything he has believed and done for three years was for naught, he goes back to his boat and life of fishing (John 21:3).
I am Peter. Often, I’m an all or nothing kind of girl. I can’t seem to stay awake or get up early in the morning to pray. I have the best of intentions. I rarely do as I’m told, even when it’s in my best interests to do so. Perhaps not with words necessarily, but I often deny those I love by my attitude or actions. Sometimes I am absent when people need me. I am easily discouraged and, when in doubt, return to the status quo.
However, the minute Peter realized Jesus was alive, He really had risen from the dead as had been foretold, he didn’t wait for the guys to help him row their boat to shore. He leaped into the water and swam straight to shore, straight to His Jesus (leaving his buddies with the work of rowing the boat back to shore with their huge fish haul; John 21:7, 8).
Jesus uses people with ADD. Jesus uses impulsive people. Jesus uses people who don’t follow through. Like the servant’s rent ear, Jesus can fix mistakes, even big ones. Peter may have appeared hopelessly useless during the three years of Jesus’ public ministry, but Jesus saw Peter for the man he was becoming and prophesied accurately that Peter, the same Peter who fouled things up time and time again, would be the “rock” on which He would build His church (Matthew 16:18, 19). In effect, I know about the saving love and grace of God today because of Peter. Following his legion of failures, Peter proceeds to have a powerful public ministry of teaching and healing, works closely with the apostle Paul, writes two epistles that are among canonical scripture today, and withstands all sorts of persecution and torture because of his stand for the risen Christ. Peter eventually does, indeed, die for his faith in Christ; some traditions claim he asked to be crucified upside-down because he was “unworthy to die in the same manner as [his] Lord” (from The Acts of Peter).
I’ve cut off a couple of ears lately; more than usual, so it seems. ADD is a nuisance. I’ve tried various methods to make peace with the way my brain works differently than that of other people. One of the things I do that I wish I didn’t is talk. All the time. I often speak before thinking. What most people do internally, I do aloud. A friend recently encouraged me to listen, really listen–In a group or in meetings, whose voice do I hear the most? If it’s mine, I should shut up. On most Friday mornings, I pray with two other women for our kids and their school. We are one little chapter of the international organization Moms in Touch. As we were sharing requests for our kids this morning, I realized I had been talking for ten minutes about my kids and my problems, telling my stories. I told my fellow pray-ers how my friend had challenged me. They made an interesting observation, one I had never realized: I don’t ramble on and on when I’m actually praying. When I talk with God I’m focused, concise, clear, and other-centered. It’s true. This revelation is somewhat overwhelming.
While I don’t even need to consider the ridiculous comparison of the eternal impact of my life verses that of the apostle Peter’s, I am encouraged by all that God accomplished in and through that impetuous first century fisherman and by my praying friends’ observation. God is using and will use me in spite of myself. Perhaps because of my inpulsivity and blathering and emotionalism and passion. He is the One who created me this way. Now, if I can just figure out a way to embrace how God wired me and what He has planned for me, as opposed to seeing my peculiarities as maddening obstacles. Ah, now there is the conundrum. I wish I could ask Peter how he made the leap from bumbling betrayer to confident world-changer. ~ cck
* My Paul (as opposed to the apostle Paul) thinks Peter intended to cleave the guy’s head, missed, and only got his ear. Paul points out that Jesus could have healed a split skull as easily as He did an ear. As I ponder Paul’s theory regarding Peter’s intentions, I think it is further evidence of God’s sovereignty and Jesus’ total control over the situation. Had Peter successfully struck the servant’s head, the consequences (Peter’s immediate death or trial and subsequent execution) may have been irreversible even if Jesus had healed the damage. Peter was a significant part of God’s plan for the early church, so he missed and only got an ear.
2 Comments
March 28, 2009 at 5:57 pm
Thank you for this posting. I’m seeing more and more that I behave in the way the medical community calls ADD. But as your friends noticed, your brain functions just fine in certain tasks. Mine does too.
Westerners, especially influenced by industries wanting to sell fixes, have labeled the way some people’s brains work as a fault, even a disease. Our education system is designed for one type of brain functioning person. God wires people in different ways. He gives us different gifts. Funny, it reminds me of how we landscape. We put in a scientifically developed plant not suited for where we put it. We fertilize it. We spray it to protect it from things that are where we put it. We water it. Then we cut it when it grows. With people and landscapes, if we’d work with God’s creation, rather than against it, we wouldn’t have nearly so much work or stress. And, think of the money we’d save too.
Outside the walls of Rift Valley Academy, did you feel ADD? God has significant plans for us too. By His grace we are world changers. Even when we don’t notice.
April 4, 2009 at 10:21 am
It would be cool to ask Peter how he made the leap from bumbling betrayer to confident world-changer. But you can read about it in Acts 2.